By Jeff Schinstock
Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministry
Being a parent is not an easy task. My marriage has been greatly blessed by the gift of our beautiful children, but the responsibility of parenthood is a tall order. The Church recognizes this difficulty. Pope Saint John Paul II speaks about parents and their relationship with children 70 times in his famous exhortation Familiaris Consortio (“the fellowship of the family”).
In my own work, in particular the work of preparing families for the sacrament of Confirmation, I have found that parents need to be accompanied by the Catholic community. It is a great time to do a spiritual checkup. Like all relationships and friendships, our relationship with God needs to be tended. We need the accountability of a community, but also the encouragement of our neighbors. Did I mention that parenting can be hard?
I have a great appreciation for my friends when they help me with such a checkup: “How is your prayer life?” “Are you and Jesus getting some time? What is he telling you?” are the type of questions that have often given me a necessary jumpstart. I don’t always like the questions. If that is the case, it is probably because I am in a bad place of relationship and I don’t want to do the work to get myself right.
So in the spirit of checking in, I’m here with some thoughts. I mentioned Confirmation which the Catechism (1288) tells us “completes the grace of baptism.” It makes me ponder a few things in the rite of baptism that we ought to recall. First, the celebrant asks us what we are asking of God’s Church and we respond “Baptism.” Simple enough. Then the Church goes on to explain our role in that.
“You have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so you are accepting the responsibility of training him in the practice of the faith. It will be your DUTY (emphasis mine) to bring him up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us, by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?”
My goodness. I struggle to keep God’s commandments. Now I am responsible for others to do it? Indeed I am responsible, and with the help of God and the Church, it is possible. Within the same ceremony, the Church reminds us of the help of the community while still challenging us more:
“Receive the light of Christ. Parents and godparents (emphasis mine) this light is entrusted to you to be kept burning brightly. This child of yours has been enlightened by Christ. She is to walk always as a child of the light. May she keep the flame of faith alive in her heart. When the Lord comes, may she go out and meet him with all the saints in the heavenly kingdom.”
Here again we are shown the difficult, but amazing gift we are given as parents. In addition to seeking godparents for help in this duty, the Church speaks of the light of Christ. In his Gospel, St. John describes Jesus coming like this: “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:4-5)
So it is for us parents. The light we were handed on that little candle represents the light of Jesus himself. We take that light with us everywhere. Our children are walking into places of the world that are pretty dark, and they are affected by that. They also take the light of Jesus into those places and transform it.
Are we walking with them and carrying the light? Sometimes we will fall in this. None of us is perfect at parenting. Let’s ask ourselves how we are doing at keeping the light burning brightly. Are we being a good witness to the gospel and living a spiritual life that is appealing to our children? If not, this is your reminder to get a checkup. If we are in a good place, remember to ask your neighbors how they are doing.
Effective June 19, Jeff Schinstock will be the Director of Religious Education for the Diocese of Lincoln.
