Q. Does my parish priest remember my confessions?
A. When I answer questions for “Ask the Register,” I try to do my best to present objective answers based on the teachings of the Church. Given the nature of this question though, my answer will be subjective and based on my experiences as a priest. I cannot speak for all priests, but I feel that my experiences closely align with that of most priests.
With that disclaimer out of the way, the answer is no, not really. This is for many reasons but the biggest is we do not want to remember. I do not care what sins someone confesses; I just care that they go to confession.
Hearing confessions is a humbling, beautiful experience for a priest, especially when a person confesses serious sins they have been carrying for years. It is a moment of great joy and a powerful experience of God’s mercy and the furthest thing from my mind is remembering what the person confessed. God doesn’t hold on to someone’s sins, so why should a priest?
Forgetting people’s sins is facilitated by the nature of confession itself. The ritual exchange of words that occurs during a confession helps confessions blend together. This is especially true when you hear lots of confessions in a row, whether they are face-to-face or anonymous. Even if you remember a specific sin being confessed, you have no idea when you heard it, much less who confessed it.
I understand people’s hesitancy to go to confession out of a concern that the priest will recognize them somehow and remember what they confessed, especially in a small parish, but they need not be concerned. Not only are priests forbidden to reveal a person’s sins that they heard in confession, but they are also forbidden “from using knowledge acquired from confession to the detriment of the penitent even when any danger of revelation is excluded” (c. 984 §1). The Church wants people to feel comfortable going to confession, so She forbids priests not only from revealing a person’s sins but also from harming that person in any way by using knowledge they gain in the context of a confession.
Do not let concern over whether your priest remembers your sins or not stop you from going to confession. Do not let anything stand in the way of your going to confession. If you had a bad experience with a priest in confession, I am truly sorry, but do not let their actions prevent you from encountering the mercy of the Father in confession. 
Do not be afraid or nervous about going to confession. As Pope Francis said, “God does not see sinners to label, but children to love. He does not see people who have erred, but beloved children; wounded, perhaps; and then He has even more compassion and tenderness. And every time we confess — never forget this — there is a celebration in Heaven. May it be the same on earth!”
This question was answered by Father Caleb La Rue, chancellor of the Diocese of Lincoln. Write to Ask the Register using our online form, or write to 3700 Sheridan Blvd., Suite 10, Lincoln NE 68506-6100. All questions are subject to editing. Editors decide which questions to publish. Personal questions cannot be answered. People with such questions are urged to take them to their nearest Catholic priest.
