Q. I get so distracted during prayer and Mass. What should I do to be more focused?
A. I very distinctly remember the first time I celebrated Mass, especially the moment of consecration. It was overwhelming to the point of making me tear up.
I also very distinctly remember the first time I was celebrating Mass and realized I had been so distracted by a meeting that I had that day, that I had been thinking about that instead of being focused on our Lord during the consecration. I wish I could say that was the last time I was distracted while celebrating Mass.
Distraction during prayer and Mass is a real thing that everyone deals with on some level. I wish there was a surefire solution to this, some kind of secret method that could “cure” distraction for everyone. If there is one, I do not know it. All I can offer are some suggestions and some words of encouragement.
First thing first, though, is to just remind ourselves that the fact that we get distracted during prayer or zone out during Mass does not mean we are bad Catholics. It means we are human beings. It is very easy to beat ourselves up about being distracted. It is not helpful, though. In fact, the more we get riled up about it, the more our peace is taken away. At that point our frustration over being distracted becomes a distraction.
If we realize that we have become distracted while we are praying or at Mass, the best thing we can do is say a quick prayer, asking for the grace to refocus and return our attention to what we are doing. No anger, no frustration, no self-condemnation. None of that will help, and all it will do is turn us more inward on ourselves and take our attention further away from God.
Like most activities, how we prepare for prayer will have a significant impact on how we pray, or how well we are able to enter into the Mass. If we have a consistent holy hour or time we pray, it is a good idea to ease into that prayer time. If we are driving or walking somewhere, do it in silence or listening to sacred music, something that will help our attention begin to shift to our Lord. It is analogous to stretching; if we dive right into a game of football without getting warmed up, we will not be at our peak performance. Prayer is no different. So “stretching” before prayer or on the way to Mass (even getting to Mass a bit early to pray) is a helpful habit to build. Saying a prayer that our time with our Lord with be fruitful is always a good idea.
We also need to be mindful of our distractions and whether they are truly distractions. If we are trying to pray or we are at Mass and we keep thinking about what we are going to order at Arby’s when we go there after we are done, that’s likely a distraction. But, if we are trying to pray or we are at Mass and we cannot stop thinking about how worried we are about a loved one who is going through a difficult time, that could be the Holy Spirit moving our hearts to lift that person or our anxiety about a situation up in prayer. It is good to have a “goal” or purpose when we pray, but we also need to be docile to the Holy Spirit and be willing to move in the direction He is leading us.
Some people find journaling during prayer to be a helpful way to handle distractions. Writing down thoughts or feelings that come to us in prayer can help keep us focused and, if we do get distracted, we can read what we have written and remind us of what has been happening in our prayer. It is also helpful to look back on in later prayer sessions to see what the dominant themes of our prayer are.
Finding how we pray best, in terms of time of day and posture and location, is also important. Not everyone can go to a church and pray. But can we find a quiet place in our homes apart from our “usual” spot to be our prayer spot? A place where we can have some sacred art or a candle or something to make that place set apart for God?
Posture is important for prayer, but segmenting our prayer by having some time of kneeling (if we are able) and some time sitting can help keep our attention. But whatever we do, it should be comfortable enough that we are not being distracted by how much our knees or back hurt.
Similarly, time of day makes a big difference. Some people find it easier to pray in the morning, before the day starts. I find it easier to pray at night, after the day is complete. There is no right or wrong time, just the time that works best for us. Try some different times and places and postures and see what works. There is nothing wrong with trial and error.
As I said before, I wish there was some knowledge that they teach priests to get rid of distractions that I could impart but there is not (or at least not that anyone told me). The best thing we can do is not get discouraged or upset, and to keep trying. Ninety-five percent of the spiritual life is just continuing to cooperate with the grace that God gives us to be better tomorrow than we were today.
This question was answered by Father Caleb La Rue, chancellor of the Diocese of Lincoln. Write to Ask the Register using our online form, or write to 3700 Sheridan Blvd., Suite 10, Lincoln NE 68506-6100. All questions are subject to editing. Editors decide which questions to publish. Personal questions cannot be answered. People with such questions are urged to take them to their nearest Catholic priest.
