by Bob Sullivan
In the past few years, some Catholics have noticed that there are fewer and fewer men involved in an active life of faith in parishes across the country. Catholic men such as Bishop Emeritus Thomas Olmsted, Matthew Christoff, Father John Hollowell, and others, have written and spoken about this as a crisis in the Church.
Father Paul Sullivan of the Diocese of Phoenix points out that some of this is due to men falling for the lie that they are not qualified, or concluding that “I’m not one of those super-Catholic guys.” Such thoughts are not from the Lord, Father Sullivan says, they are in fact a demonic effort to intimidate men into an effeminate faith, or into a rejection of faith.
Think about it this way: Do we refer to women as effeminate? No. If you know a faithful woman, you probably would not describe her as passive or morally weak. Yet, passivity and moral ambiguity is exactly what we see in too many Christians these days.
Many men have a soft faith, which seeks frequent or constant entertainment and stimulation and has often grown morally and spiritually passive. They step back from their role as a bold and courageous disciple. In men, this is often embodied as a man who has lost interest in being the spiritual leader in the home and in his community. Such a man lives from distraction to distraction, avoiding Mass, prayer, and other faith-based opportunities in his life. In other words, he lives in the world and of the world.
Until recently, the Church has taught that men are to be the chivalrous and courageous spiritual leaders in their homes and in their communities. More recently, we have heard the word “vulnerable” used more and more often.
“Vulnerable” simply isn’t a good word to use when you are speaking to Catholic men. It can easily feed into a lazy and emotional approach to faith, which is highly contrary to the Catholic approach. Unfortunately, while many Catholic men have adopted a weak approach to the faith, they are now being told to be more vulnerable. If this keeps up, the steady decline of men left in the Church will soon turn into a sprint toward the exits.
One thing nearly every man values is clear, consistent, and concise communication.
Instead of telling men – especially young men – to be “vulnerable,” we need to be told to be honest and to know ourselves. We need to be reminded of our mission. This changes the image from a long hug with tears and sniffles, to an image of St. Paul after his road to Damascus.
Sometimes we get knocked on our backsides, but God always sends us someone like Ananias. Ananias did not tell St. Paul to be vulnerable, he told Paul about the mission God had for him.
In a similar way, St. Joseph was anything but passive, emotional, and vulnerable. He was a man of action, and his resourcefulness and faithfulness as the faithful protector and provider is an often-overlooked model for Catholic men.
The Catholic faith is a very manly faith, but not manly in the Rambo sense, manly as in the sacrificial and courageous examples of all the saints who have gone before us. Because of this, we need to use different language with men. Instead of “vulnerable,” we should encourage the word “honest.” Honesty requires virtue, and a life which grows in virtue, especially the virtues of faith, hope, and love, is a life to which all men aspire.
Each man’s mission is to defend, protect, and provide. A virtuous approach to this is the Catholic way.
Editor's Note: Bob wrote a second part of this column for the Sept. 29 Register.
