By Sr. M. Joan Henderson, FSGM
Father Paul Rutten was a resident at Bonacum House when I first came in May of 2017. He passed away on March 20, 2019 at age 86, and just a couple weeks before his sobriety anniversary of 27 years. He was an alcoholic who devoted all those years to AA meetings and stayed faithful right up to the end, inspiring others who shared the same struggle.
He was always soft spoken and kind and curious. He liked to talk to people and truly get to know them, and their families and connections. Once when I cleaned his apartment, I changed the order of these five squishy foam heads on his book shelf that portrayed different emotions; happy, sad, angry, scared, and surprised. I put the happy one in the middle and the others turned toward it, and he commented that he liked it, so it became a game. Every time I cleaned his apartment, I moved around the squishy heads and he was amused to see what I came up with.
In the fall of 2018, Father Rutten was diagnosed with cancer throughout his abdomen. It was a sad but edifying time for me. I watched as he accepted this news with a peaceful resignation. He chose to go on hospice and to move to Madonna Long Term Care. Father worked with his P.O.A. Father James Meysenburg very conscientiously to make sure his property was all taken care of, and even to choose the songs that would be played at his rosary and funeral and what his obituary would include.
He loved music and asked us three sisters who serve at Bonacum House to sing our community’s “Ave Maria” at his rosary and “I Found a Treasure” at his funeral and we sang it for him a few times in those last months. His favorite song was, “Why Me, Lord” by Kris Kristofferson and he wanted that one at his funeral, too, though he wasn’t sure if it would be allowed. To his relief it was allowed as a communion meditation song that the Cathedral choir sang beautifully with harmony. I have never known someone before who prepared for death so carefully. He wanted to die on the feast of St. Joseph, March 19.
The Lord had a slightly altered plan that was even better. On March 20, 2019, a relic, the heart of St. John Vianney, came to Lincoln, and was on display at the Cathedral. We sisters went to venerate there and met the custodian of the relic. We asked if they would bring it over to Bonacum House, if only for a few minutes, so the retired priests might venerate it in our chapel which is named after St. John Vianney, patron of priests. They agreed.
At 2 p.m., the relic arrived and was displayed in our chapel with two Knights of Columbus keeping honor guard for an hour. All our priests gathered and prayed together a Divine Mercy Chaplet for Father Rutten. Sister M. Andrea touched her rosary to the heart of St. John Vianney and she and I went to Madonna. She touched her rosary to Father’s chest above his heart, and placed it in his hand. His ragged breathing told us it wouldn’t be long.
A CD prayer was on the counter, and a favorite CD of his by Ellen Soukup. His favorite song of hers was, “Ten Thousand Angels,” so Sister M. Andrea turned it on and set it to play that song. Father Rutten breathed his last while it was playing. It was the first time I have ever been present at that moment when a priest died.
I just stared, taking it all in. The color fading, the last twitches, everything relaxing, the warmth cooling, and the sun coming out behind the clouds to light up the room. That moment was for me a touching of eternity. Father Meysenburg contacted Ellen Soukup and told her about her song playing for Father when he died and she actually came to the rosary and sang that song live for us. I hadn’t cried up to that moment but when she started singing, the tears started to flow.
