By Dotti Easter
As a nurse for more than 30 years, I have had the awesome opportunity to be with many patients and their families as their loved one transitioned into eternal life. There is nothing more holy to witness than to see this transcendence. This is my desire for myself and for all of us – to die a happy death. St. Joseph, pray for us.
I would like to share with you the reality of what I experienced many years ago that has continued to affect and inspire my faith. “T” was a middle-aged man; he was a patient of mine who had been suffering with cancer for months. I had known him and his family for several years. Much like most middle-aged people, death was not at all on his mind. Although his doctors had discussed with him and his wife that his cancer was not curable, he had no death plan, or end-of-life plan. In his mind, this particular hospital stay would be like all of the others: he would stay a few days and go home. After all, he was young and he was strong! Denial, it is a great place to live! Denial is the first stage of grief and often when thinking of death, we never make it past this step.
This hospital stay for “T” was different, he not discharge to home (his home on earth). Rather, he died in my presence, along with another nurse. We were offering routine cares while his wife stepped away from the bedside. It this short time she stepped away, “T” had a change of condition. This change lasted only a few minutes before he passed.
These few minutes of his “change in condition” forever has changed my life.
If dying a happy death is all true, then there is certainly the opposite: dying a terrible/frightful death. This, friends, was so scary to watch and be a part of; scarier than any horror movie I have ever watched. It was an intense few minutes. The look and the fear in his eyes, his pupils constricted and intently focused on something, the facial grimacing and tightness in his entire body was something I have never ever experienced when someone passes. The fear “T” was experiencing was palatable in the room. It was horrible to watch as he transcended this life.
The only happy part of “T’s” death was that when his wife returned to the room – within seconds of this terrifying experience – he was gone, his facial muscles relaxed, and his eyes closed. She was not present to witness what the other nurse and I had seen.
The inspiration of this story and the desire of the “why” I want to share this is that to die a happy death is something the good Lord wants for all of us. I desire that for you! St. Joseph wants this for us, so pray for a happy death. Live each day with the end in mind.
As nurses, we have the unique opportunity to be present with patients and families at this holy moment. We can call a priest to anoint the sick, give Viaticum to administer the Apostolic Blessing. Since this experience, I, along with Sister Joan Kolbe and Sister Faustina of the Marian Sisters have started the Nebraska Catholic Nurses group. Nursing is a calling, it is a vocation. Living our vocation to bring Jesus to the bedside so that everyone has the opportunity to know, to love and to serve him in this world so that we can be together in the next. No one needs to die an unhappy death!
O Blessed Joseph, you gave your last breath in the loving embrace of Jesus and Mary. When the seal of death shall close my life, come with Jesus and Mary to aid me. Obtain for me this solace for that hour – to die with their holy arms around me. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I commend my soul, living and dying, into your sacred arms. Amen.
